ESA Rosetta: It's not Star Trek

A glutton for punishment, I’ve spent some time trawling the Interwebs to find the worst comments humanity has to offer regarding the recent ESA Rosetta / Philae comet landing. And by ‘trawling’ I mean checking out BBC News and Daily Mail and sorting comments by lowest rated first. Here’s a sample.

What an ENORMOUS WASTE OF MONEY!

How can people complain what footballers get paid when money is WASTED on stuff like this?

It is absolutely SICKENING that this money wasn’t spend on housing new immigrants or paying for young mums.

I am DISGUSTED at this

People need to WAKE UP and realise star trek is NOT REAL

Peter Pooper

Sometimes the difference between a real person and a troll is hard to distinguish. Peter also left this corker on another article which absolutely destroys large parts of the English language:

Id rather here news about wayne rooney not being England captin.

To me that is news this is just something about a piece of rock and a robot,

lol star trek isnt real you know

Peter Pooper

I reckon he’s quite proud of the Star Trek reference.

Another huge waste of money to keep poor quality scientists employed on the only trivia they are capable of being involved in …. and they couldn’t even do that well ! These people should try working on projects that would have to meet strict business case criteria and suffer the consequences of their failure (like those of us in the real world do) to deserve respect.

JAB170962

This guy is a hoot at the work Christmas party.

Some people fall for anything scientists tell them.

Luther_Wesley-Baxter

So many potential replies to this, I can’t even begin to pick my favourite.

I hope that the team who put this project together are going to explain to the millions around the world who are at this moment dying of hunger, want, disease, deprivation, poor medical care and ignorance - all problems which could be alleviated with better funding - that landing a robot on a comet is so much more important than saving their lives and those of their children.

Douglas Lee

Damn astrophysicists, they should get back to developing new drugs to combat diseases and improve farming methods in developing countries! I suppose you could argue they made poor life choices becoming interested in space instead of something ‘useful’.

Who cares? This should be relegated to some nerd festival.

STeve

I’m sure that not too long ago, STeve was saying the same thing about all these newfangled computers and the Internet. Also if anyone knows of a nerd festival occuring in the North West UK anytime soon let me know, I want to be there.

The reason this mission messed up is because of the caliber of people involved. That guy with the tattoos all over his arms looks like he should be a garage mechanic, not a mission controller. The woman from the second-string Open University who was prematurely dancing for joy reminded me of Colin “Mars crash” Pillinger. These people should never have been let near the driving seat.

Thebrasenose

I thought we’d got over judging people based on their preference for body art by now, seeing as it’s 2014 and all. Quite like to see this persons comment history as I reckon they’re the type of person who would have interesting, backwards comments on gay marriage.

The thing is, I’ve not even left the main article on the BBC News site yet. Here’s some excellent content from the Daily Mail - I can’t link directly to comments, but here’s the article.

this is such a hoax - the new world order is trying to distract peoples’ attention from the misdeeds of the banksters

BARRY

Conspiracy theoriests are all over the DM article.

Will everyone please WAKE UP, these pictures are not real! “According to Emily Lakdawalla of the Planetary Society” she is made up person with a stupid made up name. CONSPIRACY

Josh 33

If she’s made up, whoever is responsible has done a damn fine job of creating a fleshed-out backstory.

People who work for this space agency are agents of Satan. They are trying to convince you that life could exist outside our universe. Even UFO’s are craft designed by the Satan himself to turn you away from the one true lord (Jesus)

Zelda_

Stands on its own, really.

COMPLETE ASND UTTER WASTE OF MONEY !!!!!! NOBODY , BUT NOBODY WILL BENEFIT FROM THIS, SO WHY THE HELL DO THESE IDIOTS CARRY ON WITH THIS USELESS SPACE EXPLORATION

Catherine

Dat cruise control.

Out of all of these though, this is my favourite.

I am in no doubt this mission has COMPLETELY failed and that these so called ‘images’ have all been created in photoshop. I have also watched the so called press conferences and I can tell that the so called scientists are, in fact, actors. I have expertise in this area and can see immediately, just by looking at the pictures, that they are ALL computer created. This is what happens when haughty scientists think that they can outsmart God and look into his creation. Outer space is the preserve of our Lord and no one else and God would never have let such a mission succeed. I am still very angry about this.

Monsieur Marsley

What an absolute gem. Either this guy is completely nuts or this is excellently crafted satire.

Many people have written about why a mission like this is a good thing much more eloquently than I can.

At this point I’m reasonably sure I’ve just been massively trolled. Actually, I really hope I’ve just been massively trolled, because I’m not sure I’m totally happy sharing the planet with these people.